A woman phoned me the other day. She wanted to discuss her peri-menopausal symptoms of irregular periods. Was this normal? Exhausting heavy bleeds for several months then 5 weeks without bleeding, then a period that barely required a pad for 5 days? 

Normal for who?  Every woman’s body is different. Our general health – mental, emotional, physical, and inherited- will be significant contributing factors to how we navigate the M- word. 

Some women taper off one month and never see a menstrual period or a symptom again. But some of us stop and start, a bit like a car running out of fuel! Our menstrual sister is leaving town, and She is wagging her tail as She goes out the door. That tail slapping may knock us about a bit. But it’s much more than purely physiological. 

At menarche a young woman enters her power, throughout her menstruating years she practises her power and at menopause she becomes her power.- Native American saying, from The Wild Genie by Alexandra Pope

moon woman www.leelawson.com

As She exits we are left with lots of question marks that may not seem obvious. Our unspoken cultural norms have become our unquestioned internalised truths. As she leaves the room (the womb!) she asks us, ‘Who are you without your procreative power? Who are you as a woman without the outward pressing of vitality on the skin of your breasts, who are you when the reliable natural timetable of moon and tides no longer waxes and wanes for you? What have you cultivated in your inner self if your identification with sexual attraction and sexuality is changing form?’ 

“Have you begun a conversation with your womb? With your menstrual blood? Did you cherish and explore Her wisdom to prepare for this next phase? What are your fears? What is the grief?”, I asked.

The sound of soft tears and deep sighs comes through the phone. We have struck a tender chord. 

If we leave these questions unaddressed we become victims to Her departure style, whethr it be tantrums or the silent treatment, often parallelling how we related to our menstruation in the first place. 

Or we can choose to honour our menstrual selves, arm in arm usher Her out the door, like we would farewell a loved one, a mentor, with all the grace we can muster, even if the relationship has been difficult. This will ease disquieting symptoms and cultivate the soil of Wise Woman. 

If we once perceived ourselves as victims of the ‘suffering of menstruation’, we do not need to perceive ourselves as victims of Her exit, or victims of menopause. 

artwork Susan Boulet

Somewhere deep inside most women experience grief at menopause. Although it may be masquerading as frustration, exhaustion, terror or rage. Even if a woman no longer cared to produce offspring, even if she found menstruating bothersome. Underneath layers of confusion lies grief, grieving and letting go of the aspects of woman most revered and valued in our culture- coy, youthful, perky breasted, virginal,- or generous, selfless mother nurturer- qualities that were easily available to us before the age of say 43, or maybe 55. 

No woman wants to become invisible.

In a culture that insists that youthful images are the sole expressions of feminine beauty and therefore equate to a woman’s worth, post-childbearing women are relegated to the realm of invisibility and uselessness. From our ingrained patriarchal culture’s perspective women are useful for providing nurturing as mothers or stimulating virility in males with their procreative sexual vitality. Even our medical profession would suggest that if the female reproductive organs are no longer being used, or should they ‘cause any trouble’, let’s just ‘whip them out.’ 

What?! NO reference to possible emotional, psychological or spiritual wisdom contained in our wombs? As women, our bodies and our emotions are our doorways to our innate wisdom. (And even if you no longer have a physical womb, the original blueprint of it’s wisdom and resonance are still available to you. )

I saw an ad pop up on the side of my facebook page yesterday, ‘Menopause Stinks!’ with a picture of a woman pulling her hair out and looking frustrated. Of course it stinks, if you continue to view women from the perspective of a world where we have also been taught to believe that menstruation is a curse, ovulation mucus is weird, and vagina’s need to be surgically altered to fit some style of the day. But if you choose another view…

Cells follow mind. Women- YOUR bodies, and the changes of your bodies, are doorways to our inner power- this is Sacred Women’s business. Together, hand in hand with your own woman body, gently, and radically (the original meaning of radical -of the roots) we can choose to open new horizons and healing and for the wounding misconceptions that we once believed to be Truth. 

As we change our beliefs about our physical bodies, we reclaim our  birthright, our woman spirit, and re-store the pathways of healing for our daughters, granddaughters …..and even backwards to our grandmothers who have gone before. 

Australian activist, social commentator and comedian Mandy Nolan writes:

I’m experiencing climate change. Every night I am a planet that heats up. I won’t use the M-word. I don’t like it. When you use the ‘m’ word people glaze over. They stop listening. I know I used to. I was even on an ABC show last year called Ask the Doctor with a doctor talking about the M thing and I should have listened because then I’d know what’s happening.

But I didn’t pay attention because I didn’t have climate change back then. I think that’s why it’s such a surprise when it happens, because none of us has a clue what the hell is going on.

All I know is that I’m out of eggs. That makes me sad. In the fridge of life I am now an empty carton. I loved my eggs. I make great omelettes. All that’s left in my uterus now is a feather and a post-it note that says, ‘I owe you an egg’.

Mandy relents, “I should have listened…But I didn’t pay attention” Pay attention. It’s your body. It’s your doorway into becoming your power. Strength and insight naturally arises when we come together, knowledge allays fear…….

Come join us Nov 9th and 10th in the Byron Shire for a weekend of the M- word. For women 35 and over, no matter how close or far away you are from menopause. https://sacredwisewoman.com.au/reclaiming-menopause-weekend/